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+====== Feelings About My Father ======
+Last year my cousin tracked me down asking how things were with me and my dad.
+That wasn't good.
+Then a couple of private investigators come to my house looking for him in connection with some plant safety case.
+That really wasn't good.
+This week, my uncle wrote me, which forced me to think about my dad for a third time in as many months.
+Here's his letter with my responses.
+Must purge this mental poison by posting it to the world and letting it go.
+<code>
+> How's the family going?
+Wife doing as well as can be expected, kids
+doing great in school, home, and themselves.
+Cats are both shedding for summer.
+>  I had lost your e-mail addresses…we
+> need to get together and have dinner……
+Sounds like a plan.
+> I talked to [his] dad the other day…he is not working
+> right now, but is staying busy working around the house….
+Well, I guess that answers the question whether he's
+alive or not. You would not believe the stunned look
+on some private investigator's face when I told her
+flat out I had not heard from him in years and had no
+idea if he was even alive anymore, much less how to get
+in touch with him. She knew more about what he'd been
+up to than I do.
+> He and [she] are still together.
+Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't turn her number
+over to those PI's then. I guess he's found some measure
+of happiness. Maybe they'll get married if they already
+aren't. I'm not expecting an invite to the wedding if
+they do, and I doubt I would go if they sent one.
+>  Hopefully [I] will stay in touch with him even
+> if he doesn't call.
+No, actually, I don't have any intention of bothering.
+I got the message loud and clear after calling over and
+over when the kids were little, and only reaching his GF,
+leaving the same messages, and never getting a call back.
+Back then, I didn't care whether he wanted to have
+anything to do with me or not, but I did try to give
+him a chance to be in my kid's lives.
+He's not interested in me, or them. At first I was really
+angry about that, but I care less and less as the years go
+by. I don't even think about it anymore, except for the
+occasional reminder like the city chasing me about his
+house or private investigators looking for him.
+He doesn't even need to feel guilty about ditching us
+either, if he ever did. I really don't care anymore.
+After years of silence, I've accepted things and moved
+on. I don't like how things have ended up, but that's
+not something I could do much about.
+The wounds from him are scarring over nicely, and I
+am not in the mind to rip them open again, especially
+with the rather large risk he'd just drop out of sight
+again, and start the whole miserable mess all over when
+my kids would be more aware of what was happening.
+I think its best if he remains a picture on the wall,
+that they can ask about from time to time, rather than
+him become someone who dumped them too.
+Sorry to dump all of this on you guys this way, but
+brutal honesty is all I have left in me when it comes
+down to it.
+</code>
+~~DISCUSSION~~

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